Your Ed Here/Script
Kevin: "Aw, here we go." is looking at a statue of Ed. The camera then moves on to Rolf and Jonny, who are looking at a statue of Edd. Edd has a skull in his hand. Rolf pokes him, and the statue wobbles, dropping the skull. Jimmy, meanwhile, is looking at a sculpture of Eddy. Eddy: up "Lifelike, ain't it? You too can have your own wax dummy from Ed's Spittin' Image of Wax! Need a scapegoat for Mom and Dad to yell at? Why not blame the dummy? Only 25 cents." Jimmy: "You mean live life guilt free? Give it to me, Eddy!" drops a quarter in Eddy's jar. Eddy: "We got us a live one!" takes a coffin shaped box and slams it down onto Jimmy. Jimmy: "Be gentle." Edd: the process "The procedure is really quite simple, Jimmy. Step One: We pour oatmeal, Mother Nature's own casting agent." fills the coffin with oatmeal and slams the lid. "Step Two: Vigorous distribution. This will activate the oatmeal's inherent properties of coagulation." shakes the box. "Step Three: Let it set." pulls out an hourglass and times the oatmeal. Once enough time has passed "Step Four: Gently extract from the now hardened mold." uses an eyedropper to suck Jimmy out of the coffin. Ed: "Look out for your shoes!" tosses the eyedropper. It lands, and Jimmy is pushed out. Jimmy: for the skies "AAAAH!" Edd: "Uh, yes, um, step five: We insert solid wax cylinders into the mold and meticulously melt each one into its cavity, thus coating every delicate nook and cranny." Edd means is they put crayons in the mold and melt them to fit the created mold and thus make a statue. Kevin: bored "Get on with it!" Edd: "Rome wasn't built in a day, Kevin." takes a mallet and slams it down on the top of the dummy maker. The coffin splits in two, revealing an oddly posed Jimmy at the center. Jonny: "Wow! Look at that!" comes down next to the statue and pops up in exactly the same pose. Eddy: "Which one's the dummy, huh, huh?" at them both "Betcha can't tell! Only at Ed's Spittin' Image of Wax! Who's next?" Sarah: worried "Jimmy looks like he's gonna throw up!" Jonny: "Turn me and Plank into candles, Eddy!" Nazz: "This I gotta see." Rolf: a resolute Kevin "Come, Kevin, the placing of the wig must not be missed!" Kevin: away "This is so stale, I swear." sees something and stops. "Huh?" is a wallet. "Choice, a wallet!" Eddy: "Any cash?!?" Kevin: "It's empty. Like your head." Eddy: back to his scam "What idiot would carry a wallet with no cash in it?" Kevin: in it "No way! Hey, Eddy, check out the idiot!" holds it out. The "idiot" in question is none other than our favorite three-haired scammaster. Eddy: at it "Hey. That's mine." Kevin: "Ain't it weird how wallets can tell a lot about a dork." the wallet to Eddy "Huh, Skipper." Eddy: scared "WHAT'D YOU CALL ME?!?" freaked out, looks back at his scam. Kevin: "That is your middle name, right, Skipper?" Eddy: Kevin on his bike "Gee, sorry you're leaving town, pal, I'll sure miss ya, don't come back too soon now!" just sits on his bike. Eddy: begging "You ain't gonna tell, are ya? Don't! I'm groveling! I'll do anything you want, I swear! Just don't tell anyone!" Kevin: "Anything I want, huh?" thinking "Buy me a soda, 'cause I'm broke." Eddy: "In your dreams!" Kevin: smug "Your choice. Skipper. HEY, ROLF!" clamps his hands over Kevin's mouth. Rolf: to see who called him "Hallo! No rain today, yes?" back around "Half-baked Ed-boy. Is it done?" Eddy: his hands of Kevin's mouth "Okay, you win!" Kevin: "I'm waiting..." ---- places two eyes on a statue of Jonny and Plank. Ed: "Am I an artiste or what?" Kids laugh. Jonny: eyeless "Where'd everybody go?" runs up and grabs the jar from Edd. Edd: "Ed, give Jonny his eyes back." notices the jar is gone. Ed: "Like toejam, Bob!" looks across the street, where Eddy gives the jar to Kevin. Eddy then hustles back. Ed: "Okay, you're hot. Hotter! Yep, that's them, Jonny!" picks his eyes up and puts them on wrong. Jonny: "Weird, huh Plank?" Eddy: in "Everybody go away!" Jimmy: "But Eddy, my wax figurine!" throws Jimmy and Sarah over the fence. Eddy: a full-blown panic "We're closed!" ---- Eddy: Ed and Edd into his room "Home sweet home, huh guys? Let's uh–" pulls out a notepad. "Play some X and O's!" Ed: "Ooh! Ooh! X's and O's? I am skookum at X's and O's!" Edd: "Ed, don't you see? Somethings amiss here, and Eddy's just trying to–" Ed: an old man "Find your hamburgers yet, Wimpy?" Edd: agreeing "Very well, Ed, I'm up for your challenge." Eddy: "Hey, uh, you guys start. I need to check on something." tears off around the side of the house. ---- the house, he looks for Kevin. When he spots Kevin, Kevin is deep in conversation with Sarah and Jimmy. Jimmy: "Are you pulling my leg, Kevin?" Eddy: hysterical "Lies! All lies! Don't listen to him, Jimmy, he's making it all up!" Kevin: "I was just telling 'em how much you love Jimmy's fashion sense, Dorky." Eddy: "I do?" Kevin: "But, if that's a lie, maybe I should tell them the truth." begins to sweat. Sarah: malignantly "What truth?" Eddy: Sarah out of the way "Oh, that! Oh yeah, Kevin's right, Jimmy. How about sharing your secrets, Blackwell?" snickers, knowing he has Eddy under his thumb. ---- and Edd are in Eddy's bedroom, playing Tic-tac-toe. Edd draws an O in the middle. Ed takes the pencil and draws furiously for a moment. Ed: "I win again, Double D!" of drawing X's, he has drawn many symbols around the O, including a trident, a chicken head, and some geometric figures. Edd: confused "We are playing X's and O's, aren't we Ed?" Eddy: "Okay. What's up?" looks exactly like Jimmy, down to the clothes, hair, and retainer. "My go?" draws a straight line down the middle of the new game. "Who's next? Be right back." runs off. Edd: "I can't quite put my finger on it, Ed, but something very strange is going on here." Ed: "Yeah, that you stink at this game, Double D!" proceeds to scribble over Eddy's line. ---- runs like his feet are on fire. He spots Kevin talking to Jonny. Without stopping, he grabs Jonny and stuffs him in an envelope. He seals the envelope, drops it in a mailbox, and runs back. Eddy: "C'mon, Kev, you promised you wouldn't tell!" sees Kevin about to talk to Nazz. "Kevin, don't!" merely beckons him over. ---- has drawn an O, once again in the center. Ed draws a square around it. Ed: "Whoa-hoa-hoa! I win!" Edd: "Preposterous! This isn't how the game's played! I refuse to continue under these absurd conditions, Ed." Ed: "Aw, kitty-cat go meow?" rushes in. He picks up Edd and carries him to the middle of the cul-de-sac. Edd: irked "Would you mind telling me what has gotten into you today?" Eddy: "Forgive me!" bends Edd over and kisses him with all the passion of fear. Kevin laughs heartily. Nazz: "You're bad, Kevin." Sarah: from the left "Hey. What's going on?" points at the friends, who are retching. Kevin: "Hey Eddy, get over here!" Eddy: "Coming, Kevin!" pushes Edd back, and Edd stumbles against Ed. Ed: "One is a lonely number, Double D." Eddy: like a seal "Ark ark ark! Ark ork ark!" goes up to some horns and blows the with his teeth. Rolf: himself immensely "The Ed-boy has been trained well!" kids, with the exception of Ed and Edd, laugh. Ed: "Catchy tune." Kevin: a fish "Now gimme a nosestand." complies. "Choice, Wave to Nazz." Eddy does as requested "Now beg for the fish." Eddy: "Ark ark ark!" throws the fish, and Eddy catches it in his mouth. Kevin: "So? Swallow it! Or else." the fish stays uneaten "Right then. Hey guys! Wanna know what Eddy's–" Eddy: the fish "Okay! Okay!" swallows the raw, slimy, scaly fish. He then gags. Kevin: "Oh, man, you're sick. Here's something to wash it down with." sprays Eddy with a squirt gun. "Oops, I missed." is now a big wet spot by the crotch of his pants. The kids all laugh. Kevin: "Bathroom's over there, pal!" Eddy: embarrassed "Good one, Kev. You're a funny guy." taps him on the shoulder. Edd: "Excuse me, Eddy, may I have a word with you privately?" Eddy: "Back off! Can't you see I'm trying to bend to one's yoke?" Edd: "Very well, I'll just tell you're father you're too busy." walks away. Eddy: away after Edd "Remember Kev, loose lips sink ships. Okay?" ---- Eddy: "What's my dad want?" Ed: a backscratcher "Anybody got an itch to scratch?" uses the scratcher on Eddy's armpit. Edd: "Ed." slows and stops. "Not now, thank you." leaves. "I made up the father excuse to lure you away, Eddy! What in Sam Hill has gotten into you? Look at yourself! Kevin's making a fool of you in front of everyone!" Ed: reappearing "Yeah, it's usually me!" Eddy: "I can't tell you. Nobody can find out!" straightens up, alert. Kevin: "Hey Eddy! C'mere, will ya?" Eddy: "Gotta go!" bounds off. Ed: waving "A fine example of who-knows-what, he is." ---- kids are all laughing. Eddy runs up. Eddy: "What's up, pal?" looks around the circle. Everyone has a strained, carnivorous grin on their face. Sarah: "Hey Eddy!" is flipping a jump rope with Jimmy. Jimmy: "How about a little skip rope, friend?" Eddy: "Uh...nope, not me." Jonny: "Plank wants to know if you'll skipper our boat!" holds up a boat made of newspaper. Plank is nestled inside. Rolf: "Look here, Ed-boy. He who commands the boat must rig many knots, yes?" laughs, and Eddy sweats ferociously. Kevin: "Dude. That wasn't even remotely funny." Sarah: rhyming "Sounds like dipper, rhymes with flipper, is close zipper–" Eddy: "Shut up, Sarah!" Sarah: "–but not a slipper...well, what do you know. It's Skipper!" Eddy: "Say what?" The Kids: chanting "Skipper, Skipper,–" Eddy: "No way!" The Kids chanting "–Skipper, Skipper!" Eddy: "Leave me alone!" Jonny: off with the rest of the kids, except Kevin "See ya, Skipper!" Nazz: last of the group besides Kevin to leave "Skipper. What's with that?" Eddy: "Kevin, you jerk! You weren't supposed to tell anyone!" Kevin: "Oops. I forgot. Sorry, Skipper!" rides off, laughing meanly. walks the other way, hunched over in an ocean of grumpiness. He runs into Edd. Edd: "I'm here for you, Eddy. A penny for your thoughts?" Ed: "Skipper's embarrassed because everybody now knows Eddy's middle name." giggles. Edd: "Skipper?" Eddy: up "Ah, who cares! My life's wrecked." Edd: "Skipper's a very–um–exceptional middle name. Be proud of it, because it will be with you for the rest of your life." lifts Eddy's lips into a smile. "Now how about a smile?" removes his fingers, and Eddy's face falls back into a despairing look. "Eddy, if it makes you feel any better, I'll tell you my middle name." Eddy: dispirited "Okay." Edd: "Well Eddy, my middle name is Marion." is a pause while Eddy absorbs this Eddy: "Marion?! You gotta be kidding me! That's a girl's name!" begins to laugh his head off. Ed: "Marion! Like that maid!" Eddy: "HEY, EVERYBODY! LISTEN UP! DOUBLE D'S MIDDLE NAME IS–" Edd: a hand over Eddy's mouth "Eddy, please don't!" Eddy: "MARION!" and Eddy laugh, and the kids come out. Nazz: "My aunt's name is Marion!" Sarah: "Double D, that's so cute!" Rolf: "Marion the Hungarian?" Kevin and Jonny: "No! Marion the Librarian!" including his friends, laugh at Edd. Eddy: "Kids can be so cruel, huh, Ed?" Ed: "Got that right, SKIPPER!" stops laughing and looks at Ed, peeved. Category:Season 4 Category:Season 4 Scripts